This post should serve as companion piece to the photo album I posted last week of Kwame and Regina's wedding.
Before I begin I want to discuss my blogging style. There are many words that could be used to describe it, most of which suggest unreliability, my parents favorite being filial ingratitude. Despite these vicious attacks I refuse to apologize. Being in Ghana and having no electricity and cell reception 90 percent of the time is too good of an excuse to ever admit fault. While I'm in Bormase I do begin writing blog posts in my note book from time to time, but the fleeting nature of my concentration and lifestyle means these typically go unfinished. In this case, I knew I wanted to write one about the wedding as I was watching it. I began writing a post in my notebook, but I began to get lost in trying to describe the mire that is gender roles in Ghana. This was discouraging and caused me to put aside the pen and pad until picking it up in digital form now. In writing this post I've decided to forgo my goal of proposing a grand unified theory of gender/race relations and just focus on my experiences surrounding the wedding. This decision was cemented after I left my notebook at home.
Alright, here we go.
Kwame is my best friend Ghanaian friend in Ghana. Every evening I eat delicious Ghanaian meals with him, that his wife, Regina (rhymes with Carolina), prepares for us. These meals are typically bookended by drinking sizable quantities of akpeteshi (If it's not correct, it almost is,) which is the Ghanaian moonshine. It is distilled from palm wine, which comes from the variety of palm tree that grows here and in most of West Africa. It can be taken many ways and mixed with many things. My favorite is with bitters in it, which are roots that they'll put in the bottle and make the drink much more palatable. Krobos are big drinkers, especially of the "local," or the homemade akpeteshi.
Kwame is much more than just my eating and drinking buddy. He is a fantastically hard worker, allowing him to marry which I'll get into, and he helps with anything I need, from weeding my farm to accompanying me to the various funerals and celebrations that occur, which can be very overwhelming for a white person without a Ghanaian friend as an escort. He is also one of the most genuine, fun-loving, respectful Ghanaians I've met. He stopped going to school after the equivalent of fifth grade and is not totally fluent in English but this seems to only amplify the qualities I just listed. He is also a window into the community for me. An excellent example of all these things is that he was just selected to be the new youth leader in Bormase. This is a prestigious position for younger men and allows him to use the title of chief. The reason why there was a vacancy in the position was because the previous youth leader had an annoying knack of "cutlassing," or chopping with a machete, any miscreants that fell under his purview. I'm not sure how literal I can take this explanation as I haven't seen anyone walking around with missing limbs or over sized gashes but he stands by it.
As you can imagine, when he told me a few months ago that he will be getting married, I was ecstatic. After my initial outpouring of joy and congratulations, I did a double take and asked him, "Wait, you aren't already married?" Cue revelation. Wife is a word used very liberally in Ghana. Ghanaian men regular refer to total strangers (women exclusively, homosexuality does not exist in Ghana, at least if you ask the vast majority of Ghanaians) as their wives. I thought I understood the word's myriad contexts but apparently I was mistaken. Many of the couples I've come to know, especially the younger and poorer ones, aren't actually married. They are husband and wife in many ways but not officially, be it by law or by custom. It is a sign that a man is a becoming a "big" man when he has become successful enough to get married. A certain amount of affluence is necessary as weddings are very expensive, particularly the dowry, and on top of that everyone in the community is invited and must be provided for .
Fast forward two months. For the last couple of weeks Kwame and Regina have been working like crazy frying gari and selling their maize. Kwame's mother and sister have both come to help out around the house and with the wedding preparations. One of these is the selection and purchase of the wedding fabric. In the pictures you'll see many of us wearing matching outfits. The bride will select a fabric to be the wedding fabric and then everyone that is part of the wedding party will buy it and get it made into an outfit. This is especially fun because Ghanaian, and most West African, fabrics are bright and very colorful. This one was no exception. Me and a couple PCVs got this made into outfits for the big day.
Unfortunately, due to circumstances far beyond my control, I am unable to complete this post in one shot. Part 2 will be coming next week. Stay tuned!
